Listen Up!
I have always been told that communication takes two people: one person to send a message- verbal or nonverbal- and one person to receive the message. Of course, message sent doesn’t always mean message received. Good communication requires the message receiver to actually acknowledge the message was received.
In general, our society is filled with people engrossed with pleasing only themselves. When we participate in this behavior, our focus is off of others and solely on ourselves.
Most people in life just want to be heard. I witness it in my job every day. Someone else’s problem may seem small to us, but to them it could be a major crisis or devastatingly life changing.
The Bible tells us in James 1:19:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…
Did you notice what James points out first? Be quick to listen. I am so quick to think of what to say next- or have a response prepared- before I’ve even completely processed what someone else is actually saying. That makes it all about me.
Making it about them requires more than merely hearing, but actively listening.
I encourage you- along with myself- to take the time to really listen to others. You never know how you may impact someone’s life just by taking the time required to truly listen to them. The next time you find yourself working to actively listen to someone, remember these three things:
2. Actively listening is an act of love.
3. Actively listening reflects your relationship with Christ.
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Stand for the Truth
As we learned, every time we exaggerate or embellish the facts, it gets a little easier to do it the next time. We stretch it just a little further each time we embellish. Eventually, this is who we become and reflects our way of interacting on everything- from what we say and how we act to what we get in the habit of doing.
Some of my friends and I- way back from high school- still talk about a person we knew who always “climbed a little higher” or “ran a little faster” than we all knew to be true. It is sad to see how these seemingly insignificant embellishments (over several decades) now have affected his employment, marriage(s), reputation and walk with the Lord.
As for me, I can easily be tempted to wear the Admiral’s star or the sheriff’s badge. Meaning this: when I use inappropriate leverage to get more help, drum up additional resources or win additional funding for a new project. This can often include an embellishment (a.k.a. an outright lie) regardless of whether or not it’s a “not so big” exaggeration.
Consider this example. Do you recall growing up and saying to your siblings, “mom said you are supposed to go do this” when really she told you to do it. This is where it starts, little by little. Before you know it, it turns into exaggerating a project requirement at work to be competitive since you know others are doing it. Yikes! It’s an all-too-easy, slippery slope that so often we don’t even realize is happening.
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Honesty Is the Only Policy
This is the point they missed: I am not the standard or authority
that makes lying or dishonesty immoral.
It’s an absolute in natural law and from God.
No, honesty is not the best policy- a.k.a. the best choice among other equally good options-
honesty is the only policy.
Honesty is more than not telling lies and more than saying something false. Honesty is speaking that which conforms to truth and reality. It is living in integrity and Godly character; which includes moral rightness, truthfulness, trustworthiness and to be free of deceit.
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When Was Your Last Spiritual Check-up?
• How is my alone time with Him: bible reading, prayer life?
• How am I serving God: volunteering at church, welcoming visitors at church, providing assistants to those in need?
• Is it my desire to give sacrificially to the church family?
• Do I live humbly before ALL men?
• Is grace growing in my life?
• Do I love my neighbor?
• How do I measure-up according to scripture, when expressing love to my family?
• Am I forgiving others that have wronged me?
• Do I fellowship with other believers?
• Is my life a witness of God’s hand working in it?
• Am I helping the poor and needy?
Matthew 22:37-40 says
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it; love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.
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4 Things to Remember When You’re On the Edge
I can honestly tell you this: you are not alone. Over the past two years, I have had some major events in my life that have not only tested my emotions and thoughts, but also tested everything I believe in and the will to keep pushing through those events. By the grace of God and a great support system, I have come out of all of those circumstances a much stronger person… or so I thought.
Every now and then, a little something from each of those events creeps back into my life and thoughts. I feel the weight of things that happened in the past all over again. I feel the wounds they have left behind- in my mind and the inner most parts of my being.
It is usually then that I find myself right on the edge of keeping it all together…
I feel like I’m about to have a good old fashion freak-out moment.
1. Normal – The definition of “normal” is up for interpretation. What I have learned is that my feelings and my reactions are absolutely normal. I am not weird for feeling upset or wanting to cry about past traumatic events. Neither are you.
2. Time – they say time heals all wounds. Not really. It may be a nice cliché, but in real life it takes intentional work to heal through the pain. This is what heals the wounds and grows us. If the pain isn’t dealt with and merely buried in “time” (denial), it will one day rip that scab off with the same intensity as it did 30 years ago. Scars will always be there, but I know with the Lord working in me as I do the work of healing and the buffer of time- this allows us to become stronger. One step at a time. One day at a time. It must be a conscious choice we make every day.
3. A Support System – they say that you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. If you’re not close with your family, you must still have a support system in place. Usually our parents have gone through something in the course of their lives. They can offer advice or just be there to listen. Be wise about this- choose people who are safe, honest and have your best interest at heart.
4. God – they say to just lean on God in the hard times. It’s so easy to say, harder to do. What I have learned is this: God deeply cares for me and feels the overwhelming emotions with me. When I question God on why bad things happen to good people, He doesn’t get mad at me. He tells me that evil things are not His plan- His plan is for our good. His plan is for all of us to live in eternity with him. But there is a darkness in this world and that darkness (our enemy- Satan) is the cause of those bad things happening to good people.
The bottom line?
When I am sometimes on the edge, God can work in my life if I allow him to. God wants what is best for us, and sometimes being on the edge is just where he wants us. No pain is wasted in the hands of our Savior. He desires to grow us through it. He wants us to reach out and grab his hand, so he can pull us into his loving arms.
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Patience- When You Think You Can’t Wait
Ever notice how effective that is?
Situations of life that expose our lack of patience can be as varied as life itself. Just when we think we’ve learned to be patient with one thing, we’re taken by surprise with another… and right back to impatience.
Here’s one thing I’m grateful for: on the subject of Patience, the Bible is full of stories of situations as varied as life itself. It really helps to look at how other people deal – or don’t deal – with impatience so we can get a better grip on our own situations. Our Children’s Pastor and I often work together to bring the subjects we talk about into the forefront for the entire family. The hope is that if both parents and kids are working on it at the same time, then perhaps the entire family benefits more…grows more.
To review, we’ve given a very simple definition for Patience and a memory verse to make it easy and practical.
Patience is “Waiting until later for what you want now.”
“Wait for the Lord. Be strong and don’t lose hope. Wait for the Lord.”
Here are some of the Biblical stories that we covered and the Bottom Line for each:
- Hannah Prays for a Baby
- Hannah prayed out of her deep anguish and found God’s Peace. Remember, God doesn’t grant Patience, but He does grant Peace.
Found in 1 Samuel 1:9 – 2:1
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, tell God about it.
- Hannah prayed out of her deep anguish and found God’s Peace. Remember, God doesn’t grant Patience, but He does grant Peace.
- The Golden Calf:
- They were blinded by their own sight. Remember, insecurity gropes for something physical-tangible, which can often result in a dismissal of God’s help in order to make room for your own frantic solution.
Found in Exodus 32:1 – 35
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, don’t forget what’s true.
- They were blinded by their own sight. Remember, insecurity gropes for something physical-tangible, which can often result in a dismissal of God’s help in order to make room for your own frantic solution.
- Esau’s Birthright:
- Esau was consumed with the urgency of his own hunger. Remember, yielding to immediate and overwhelming desire nearly always leads to tragic loss.
Found in Genesis 25:24 – 34
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, think twice.
- Esau was consumed with the urgency of his own hunger. Remember, yielding to immediate and overwhelming desire nearly always leads to tragic loss.
- Solomon’s Wise Words:
- Arresting your immediate frustration gives you greater clarity of mind. Remember, long-term unresolved anger always becomes bitterness…unresolved bitterness often becomes despair and depression. Found in Proverbs 14:29 – 30
“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion (unbridled emotion) is rottenness to the bones.”
Bottom Line: When you think you can’t wait, don’t lose your cool.
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